What About Socialization?

 

"Oh, that's right. I TOTALLY forgot about that!"

"I've seen the village, and I don't want it socializing my children."

"YOU don't go to school, how do YOU socialize?"

"We socialize our dogs. We educate our children."

"We don't need socialization. We have each other."

"Socialization is overrated."

If you have been homeschooling for any length of time, you may have had a veteran homeschooler come alongside you, offering some of these (among many others) responses that homeschoolers can use to ward off naysayers. Yes, I've heard all of these responses quoted at one time or another. Usually by one homeschooling mom trying to encourage another homeschooling mom. Only on rare occasions do I hear someone actually use them in real-life situations because, let's face it, the responses are a little risky. 

Are they warranted? Usually. 

When we feel attacked for our choice to homeschool, we want to be able to defend ourselves and our educational choice. We know the intentions of those asking us the socialization question are not genuine—they often want to stir up trouble. My question is, will these responses help?

Most of the time—no. The other person could be left confused, shocked, and even more turned off by homeschooling. That's not what we want.

Our concern should not be the question, but the answer. 

1 Corinthians 13 can help us answer this question in a way that will not only benefit the other person, but us.

Love Is Patient

When the question comes, be patient. Try to gauge why there might be hostility. Maybe they have seen some oddballs in their church. Or their community. Ask probing questions about homeschoolers they might have met and laugh along with them, trying to assure them that "not all homeschoolers are like that."

Love Is Kind

A kind response can help curb the conversation. If you used to be anti-homeschooling, respond to your former self. What would you have needed to hear? Maybe you genuinely were concerned about prom. It's a big deal in high school. Figure out on a heart level how what your child has now is better than prom. When you focus on the heart of the matter, the snark tends to fade. 

Love Does Not Envy

Are we secretly envious that our children do not have as many friends as the person asking the question, or the woman from church who sends her kids to private school? Do we know what we are doing is best, but underlying envy causes us to snap back? Trusting in the process means trusting in God to help us, and in that He will provide our kids with all that they need. Even friends.

Love Does Not Boast

Homeschooling carries its own set of challenges, but sometimes when we look at the challenges other parents have with children in public or private schools, we automatically think their challenges are worse. It is easy to see a rebellious child hanging out with the wrong crowd down the road and think in our hearts that our child won't be rebellious because we kept him home. It doesn't quite work that way. Boasting can only push us away from others—and reality.

Love Is Not Easily Angered and Keeps No Record of Wrongs

I have been blogging for over a decade about homeschooling. If I go back over my posts, I am sure I can find a time when I ranted and raved over someone who got on my last nerve with the socialization question. It's easy to remember the painful conversations, but love keeps no record of wrongs. One time, I found myself holding on to the wrongs of one family, only to see them switch to homeschooling later. Situations change. People change. We need to let go and move on so we can be available whenever needed.

The socialization question can bite, and it can hurt, but it actually can be used as an avenue. Pray that the Lord will show you how to respond the next time this is brought up, because it will be. 

Disclaimer: No AI was used in the creation of this post.